Becoming You is a journey of self-discovery. It is, among other things, a life-long journey of discovering who you are, discovering your purpose, unlocking your potential, and defining your core values.
It is a fundamental part of your growth journey because the truth is that you can only grow or develop what you know about yourself.
For me, my journey of self-discovery began when I attended the basic leadership course at the Daystar Leadership Academy (DLA). It was a three-week leadership program that completely transformed my life. It was at that training that I discovered who I was.
Dr Sam Adeyemi did an excellent job of explaining why the questions “who am I?” and “why am I here?” must be answered in one of the DLA courses.
To help us further, we were tasked with taking some assessment tests. To answer the questions in the assessment forms, I had to do a lot of self-reflection. I had to examine my actions, my feelings, my values, my beliefs, and my emotions.
With the results of the tests, it became clear to me that there was nothing wrong with me, and the only thing that was right with me was that I was just different, very unique!
I finally understood my personality, temperament, likes, and dislikes. I understood why I behaved the way I did. I understood why I came across as a bully to some people and why I was always after results, and excuses simply put me off.
I finally discovered who I was. And once I did and became comfortable with being “Me,” I was introduced to the other parts of me that I had never met before.
One of the most remarkable parts of me that I found on my journey of becoming “Me” is the part of me that loves young people. You know, I find it amazing that I am their greatest critic and their best friend at the same time. I am their confidant and their bully. I am their go-to person for guidance and direction.
So, once I discovered that part of me and also paid more attention to the parts of me that I was being introduced to, soon enough, I realized that whilst some people did not like me, and many still don’t, for the young people, I was just right.
The truth is, the “choleric” part of me is the one that usually makes sure that my young friends get results when trying to achieve their goals, and the slightly phlegmatic part of me is the one that empathizes with and cares about them.
Essentially, it is the “choleric” in me that people call bossy, and the “phlegmatic” in me is the one they consider too indulgent of my young friends. But, interestingly, that “me” was just right for my young friends.
So, I decided to do “me”. In other words, I became comfortable being “me” because that is who I was created to be for the purpose for which I was made.
Finding “me” helped me to become “me” and also get proficient and highly skilled at being “me”. In other words, I became a master of “me.”
Because a master is someone extremely skilled and knowledgeable in a particular field, such as the Shaolin Masters of the popular KungFu art, I became extremely knowledgeable and skilled in myself.
I understood myself better. And when I became a master of myself, I took the power people had to define me however they wanted and gave it back to me. And guess what I did? I changed the narrative!
So, becoming a master in me helped me to realize that there was no need to change who I am. And this is what will happen to you when you discover who you are.
Once you know yourself, once you discover who you are on that journey of self-discovery, you will realize that there is no need to change who you are. Do you know why? You are the perfect fit for something. Myles Munroe calls it being born to solve a problem.
The way you were born, the colour of your skin, the colour of your eyes, the sound of your voice, your temperament, your height, your weight, your personality, your likes, and dislikes, etc. Absolutely everything makes you “you” and there are needs and problems that require “you” the way you are. So, why try to be a version of someone else when you can be the only version of “you”.
Look, until you answer the question of who you are through self-discovery, you will continue to have an identity crisis and never live your life to the fullest. An identity crisis because you will continue to define yourself by what everyone else thinks or says you are. And as long as there are billions of people on earth, and no two people have the same DNA, those definitions or perceptions would be numerous and different from each other. So, who are you going to be?
On the second question, you need to understand that everything that has ever been made, including mankind, was made for a reason. I believe in the creation story. So, I believe God made you and made you for a reason. In other words, when He created you in His mind, He had a plan.
God completed you before He formed you to be born, just as any manufacturer completes a product in his mind before making it! And just like you are supposed to read the manual of a product to know what purpose it is supposed to serve and what it can do, we are all supposed to read our manuals to answer these questions.
When you start that journey, you will first realize that all you need to do is understand who you are and become a master of “you.” So, my charge is this, find “you.” Take responsibility for finding “you.” Discover who you are!
Take that personality test! Take that temperament test! Take that archetype assessment test! Get to know yourself! Understand who you are! And when you find “you,” when you make all those discoveries become “you.” In other words, become comfortable being you. Be unapologetically “you”. Do you know why? You can only become a master of anything, including your career, when you find “you,” become “you,” and do “you.”
I must mention that when I started this journey of self-discovery, I only had the discoveries I had made about myself to run with. So, you can imagine what happened.
Because I wanted to be myself, I made mistakes and faced challenges. People’s perceptions of me continued to differ, and this caused problems. So, at some point, I resigned myself to trying to please everyone so that I would “fit in”.
With the benefit of hindsight, I am confident that would not have happened if I had had a coach to guide me, and a mentor to hold my hand and hold me accountable throughout the journey.
That goes back to the point I made earlier: you do not have to go through anything that anyone you know has been through. It would be foolishness, and your journey would be unnecessarily long and tedious.
So, keep in mind that there are coaches and mentors to walk that path with you. Coaches will push you to identify your potential and goals, and mentors will hold your hands and make you accountable.
Together, they’ll help you figure out who you are and what your purpose is so that you can master yourself and your career.
Finally, I’ll say, “Find you!” Do You! Get a mentor! Get a coach!
Listen to the podcast edition of this article here and don’t forget to share, comment and follow me on social media @coachbso
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